


From Russia, With Thinly Veiled Hate

by diogcnes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - James Bond Fusion, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Comedy, Love/Hate, M/M, Questionable Acronyms, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 16:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10339446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diogcnes/pseuds/diogcnes
Summary: “The name’s Nikiforov, Viktor Nikiforov.”“Jesus, Viktor. Do you have to say that to every mark we meet?”or the one where Viktor works for the Russia’s foreign intelligence service, their fearless leader known as L takes a lot of Ls, and Yurio is so over not being recognized as a real villain.





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh fuck. Fuck! No! Fuck!” No matter how many times he swears, Yuuri knows that the building blow up. 

“You can say that again.” Nikiforov breathed, taking a swig out of a flask. 

“Fuck.” Yuuri snapped before reaching for the alcohol, finishing it off. 

::

_Seven months before..._

It was another normal day at the Yasenevo office. Yuuri had been called to the Quartermaster’s to get outfitted for yet another job as a bridge. Though passing along information from handlers to agents in covert locations seemed exciting at first, it had quickly become tedious. But the last time he was out in the field he had almost compromised himself so he figured he should be thankful to be treated like a glorified carrier pigeon. 

“He’s up for a promotion, you know.” Phichit said while encoding Yuuri’s burner phone, “Someone died in the STAMMI division. Freak accident. Everyone thinks Nikiforov arranged it.” 

The STAMMI. The elite task force that only answered to L, the SVR’s mysterious director, who had an affinity for jelly donuts. According to Yasenevo gossip, the jelly was infused with the blood of agents that had tried to defect. Yuuri shivered just thinking about her. God, the STAMMI, what an honor that would be. He wouldn’t even let himself dream of being upgraded to STAMMI clearance. They were privy to things that would make a trainee piss their pants. 

“That’s amazing.” Yuuri sighed.

“That he might have killed someone to clinch a promotion?” Phichit said. 

“Idiot. You know what I mean.” 

“Duh! It was bound to happen you know. Georgi was pissed. He’s technically Nikiforov’s senior, going off of years in the field.” Phichit said, “Here’s your revolver.” 

“Thanks. And you know L has a soft spot for him. Also, Georgi totally screwed himself over with that last asset. Anya, wasn’t it?” Yuuri lifted up his shirt to put the small revolver in a concealed holster. 

“Yeah, but was it Sochi bad?” Phichit quipped. 

“Watch it, we agreed to never discuss that again. I’m armed.” 

“And hardly dangerous. I haven’t even given you your ammunition yet.” Phichit laughed, “At this rate, you’re never going to get promoted to the STAMMI.” 

“I’m lucky to be working as a bridge in low clearance ops, Phichit. You know that.” 

Yuuri Katsuki paled in comparison to the other trainees. But it hadn’t been like that at the start. In the beginning, he had shown quite a bit of promise. But the Sochi incident derailed the fast track Phichit assures him the higher ups had planned for him. Being demoted wasn’t bad, but his trainee class was much younger now and most of them had taken the orthodox routes into the SVR. 

Meanwhile, Yuuri had been placed into his line of work mostly through luck. He had emigrated to Russia as a young boy to further his dance career. Yuuri consequently enrolled in a ballet academy that was a front for the agency. Soon enough, he was delivering packages around Moscow as favors for his beloved ballet teacher. His work had launched Minako into L’s office, where she now worked as a “secretary”. Yuuri doubted that most secretaries carried three Glocks on their person.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Yuuri. You’re still the hottest drunk the holiday office party has ever seen.” Phichit reminds him of that terrible, awful, no-good night. 

“Hey Seung-” Yuuri called out to the newest addition to the Quartermasters, “New drinking game. Take a shot every time Phichit mentions that mess.” Seung-gil laughed nervously, unsure of how to respond.

"You'd be drunk off your ass. Again." Phichit waved Seung-gil off after reminding him to reconfigure the firewall. “I still can't believe you used the emergency pole. We’re only supposed to use in case of a fire.” Phichit pointed out. 

“Phichit!" Yuuri turned pink, "There was no concrete evidence.” 

“I’m pretty sure everyone in Yasenevo has a video of that.” Phichit said. 

“Alleged video. I won’t listen to these ludicrous accusations.” Yuuri pouts. 

“I happen to be the junior head of the Qs. One push of a button and drunk Yuuri Katsuki is broadcasted to the entire SVR.” 

“Fine. I’ll just tell Seung-gil you have a raging hard-on for him.”

“Holy shit, Yuuri.” 

“I got you there, didn’t I?” Yuuri laughed, as he reached over Phichit to grab his mission brief, “You could always just ask him out, you know? Go to that new hot pot place. I hear they have this nice lunch special. Affordable, too.” 

“Yuuri. Turn around. Slowly.” 

“They have some really nice shrimp. Like it’s bigger than your middle finger. Well, that's not a good comparison. You have pretty small hands.” Yuuri rambled on. 

“Yuuri!” Phichit rasped. 

“Oh come on, Phichit. It's like one of those undeniable truths in the world. The earth turns on an axis. Nikiforov is smoking hot. You have small hands. It’s not a bad thing. Honestly, it makes it easier for you to do those nifty little brush passes.” 

“Turn the fuck around.” 

“Phichit. You know I didn’t mean it like that.” Yuuri whined, “You’re taking this way too seriously. I-”

Nikiforov.

Phichit seriously needed to stop commissioning all kinds of leather for Nikiforov’s training outfits. 

“A- agent Nikiforov! What brings you to the Quartermaster division?” Yuuri stammered out. 

“In order to be upgraded to STAMMI clearance, I am required to undertake a protégé from the current trainee class. I’d like to communicate this to Celestino. He’s their handler, right?” Nikiforov smiled easily as Phichit nodded his assent. 

“Oh hello! You must be that Japanese trainee. Heard about the business in Sochi. Shame... Hey, you’re not too busy, are you? Interested in working for an old man?” Nikiforov grinned, “I hear you’ve been downgraded to bridge work!”

“I’m fine!” Yuuri hurried to say, “I’m busy! And bridge work is an important task that must be undertaken in order to keep the agency afloat.” Yuuri repeated what L had said to him the day he received his new assignment. 

Nikiforov laughed, “You’re so cute with all of your baby fat. It’s no wonder you haven’t been out in the field. You must get in shape first, yes?” 

Phichit began to giggle. 

Yuuri wanted to melt into the floor. 

Bridging was mostly sedentary, waiting around in a back alley or driving to a remote place in the countryside didn’t exactly translate as well into his fitness routine as jumping from roof to roof or high speed chases had used to. God, Yuuri wished L would give him a second chance. 

::

The day progressed smoothly once Nikiforov left and gave them a wonderful view of leather-clad ass. Phichit swore that Yuuri was drooling. Yuuri made the trip to Voykovsky to drop off a new mission brief to Agent Babicheva, who had been on a stake-out for about three months. Yuuri liked Babicheva well enough, she got her job done quickly and never screwed up a bridge op. 

As he loitered behind a dumpster, Yuuri didn’t let himself think about the premise of being Nikiforov’s protégé. If he was lucky, Viktor would choose Kenjirou who at least had a semblance of respect for Yuuri. Maybe Ken would even share stories of their time together. His head began to dip closer to the garbage. Oh fuck, that did not smell good. Jesus Christ, was that a dead cat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The SVR is one of the two espionage agencies that arose in Russia after the fall of the KGB. They focus on missions overseas. 
> 
> L is synonymous with the M of James Bond fame. 
> 
> STAMMI stands for Specially Trained Assassins and Mercenaries, Mobilized Internationally. 
> 
> I know that the spy au is having a moment in this fandom. But I wrote this during a snow day and convinced myself that since this was a comedic take on the James Bond series, it was ok. 
> 
> Updates every weekend! Hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey-” Yuuri sputtered, trying to stifle his giggles, “Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven because I can’t triangulate your approximate place of origin.” Yuuri deadpanned before cackling hysterically. Trainee Crispino burst into laughter. 

They had both arrived early for their training time at the Yasenevo complex. Three hours of mandatory hell in a manipulated environment, chosen by their handler. Seung-gil had recently perfected the mainframe for the Dome, fixing the glitches in the system. Now they could practice in a simulated desert in peace instead of having to anticipate a switch to the rainforest. Which Yuuri thought was nice, if you were into being in full combat gear in the desert. 

“Oh!” Sara’s face lit up, “Hi-” she paused to wink, “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I misunderstand your recent search history?” 

“Sara, what did I tell you about talking to Katsuki?” her brother, Michele, moved in between them. Michele had a reputation for being overprotective and would go to great lengths, even during training, to protect his sister. Yuuri thought it was ludicrous, Sara had a better overall mission record and had bested him during recon training. 

“I don’t remember but it was probably sexist.” Sara retorted. Yuuri choked. Michele reddened. 

“I- Sara you know, I don’t mean it like that. I try to- god… Sorry.” Michele stuttered. 

“Society has inflicted its gender ideology upon you since birth. I’ll forgive that. But you should know better. Mama would be disappointed.” Sara said curtly. From what Yuuri knew, their mother was a lecturer on gender studies at a university in Naples. He didn’t know what happened with Michele but Sara tried her best to stay informed. 

“Is anybody else’s wetsuit giving them a wedgie?” 

Trust Trainee Church to break the tension. Leo de la Iglesia, creatively code named Church by Guang-Hong who believed that Church’s last name had too many syllables to sound good over comms. He was a defector, something viewed warily by many of the trainees at first, but his government had broken his deep cover and put him at risk. Yuuri respected his choice, something that he couldn’t fathom doing at Church’s young age. 

“Actually, yeah.” Yuuri mumbled. It had been bothering him ever since he had put on the wetsuit that he assumed had been sent in by Phichit, by request of Celestino. 

“You guys wear underwear?” Michele said before clamping his hands over his mouth in embarrassment. 

“That’s a great idea!” Church exclaimed, “I have to go change right now!” He sped off in the direction of the locker rooms.

“Hurry it up! Celestino might make us do targets if we’re late!” Michele called after Church as he disappeared into a corridor. 

“Speaking of being late, has anyone seen Ken today?” Yuuri asked. Minami Kenjirou was the youngest of all the trainees and still attended classes during most days. He had a reputation for being late. Despite this, he always seemed to show them up on a semi-regular basis. The annoying twit. 

“He said that he’d be arriving with Celestino and Guang-Hong.” Sara piped up, “They’re too obvious. Guang-Hong and Ken are the best swimmers. Today’s session will probably involve some type of submersion or an amphibian attack.” 

“Or he might pull that insufficient gear thing he keeps using as a threat.” Yuuri thought out loud. Celestino had a sick dream of giving them inadequate training uniforms to use in the Dome. Say, giving them wetsuits for training in the arctic tundra. 

“Fuck. You might be right. The last few sessions have been in cold climate.” Michele murmured. 

“That’s only because we had that mission in Oymyakon.” Yuuri pointed out. 

“Don’t remind me. I didn’t defrost until a week later. ” Michele joked. 

Sara rolled her eyes, “That’s only because you refused to wear the heatgear undershirt.” 

“It ruined the look.” 

“Oh? The look of being properly outfitted for a three hour op?” 

“Guys, Ken and Celestino are here.” Yuuri nodded towards the two. Church nudged Yuuri, alerting him to his presence. 

“Yuuri-kun! How are you? Have you slicked your hair back again?” Ken bounced around Yuuri excitedly. Yuuri sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. Ken was a little obsessed. 

“Where’s Guang-Hong?” Michele asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Celestino answered, “The Dome is open. Ken is all suited up. Ciao!” 

“Ciao, my ass. I have a bad feeling about this, he’s in too good a mood.” Michele grumbled as he checked his person for his appropriate weaponry. Michele favored close-range guns, more specifically the 0.357 Magnum which he worshipped endlessly. 

“Just get in the pod.” Sara shook her head, a smile playing on her lips, “Open the comm once you get in. You forgot to do that last time.”

Yuuri never got quite used to the feeling in being in a glass tube. Their paths changed every training session and he was sure that Celestino always put him on track for the most nauseating one. Technically, it was supposed to increase his tolerance for it. But Yuuri had puked in the Dome one too many times. 

“Fuck. I hate this. Fuck.” Yuuri heard Church mumbling over the comm. 

“Turn off your comm, you idiot. I don’t need to hear you pee your pants.” Michele snapped. Yuuri laughed before feeling the squeezing feeling that always came before ejection. 

A blast of hot air. Tropical, then. Thank god. The Dome’s holographic roof plates began to reflect a bright sky. He felt something wet brush up against his thigh. Looking down, he was faced with water that was quickly rising up his leg. It was fairly clear, close to land then. 

“Oh, come on.” Yuuri groaned as he radioed in to the rest, “Alpha Team, come in. This is Onsen.” 

“Arme can hear you, loud and clear. Over.” Michele said, “We have to find land. Over.” 

“Church?” Yuuri taps on his earpiece. 

“All good, Onsen. I’m on land. Head towards the reef.” Leo said. Yuuri gave the team directions to swim towards the island. Once they arrived, they would wait for further instruction from Celestino. 

“Tre asks that Arme stops referring to himself in third person. Over.” Sara joked. 

“Hypocrite.” Michele chided. 

“Lohen’s here! Onsen, you’re doing great. Over.” Yuuri laughed at Kenjirou’s compliment. Kenjirou had taken up Yuuri’s old code name that he had shed when he was promoted to participate in the Sochi op. It was endearing but also a little weird. Just like Kenjirou. 

“Agents. You’re playing capture the insubordinate trainee today. I’m sure you all remember the events of last Tuesday. Guang-Hong is somewhere on this island. It doesn’t really matter to me whether or not you find him, but if you do he has promised to pay for dinner at that new hot pot place Katsuki keeps talking about.” Celestino announced over the loudspeakers, “Happy Friday. Also you have two hours of extra target practice after this.” 

Guang-Hong had spoken out of turn during a practice operation which wasn’t exactly grounds for punishment but he hardly ever did anything wrong during ops. Celestino had joked about making him the mark for a training session. It was going to be an easy task, the SVR always sent them on retrieval missions anyway. It was what they were best at. Yuuri figured that this was Celestino’s way of making up for the past few sessions being held in cold Russian hell. 

Yuuri reached land first, followed by Sara and Michelle. Kenjirou lagged behind and Yuuri had a feeling that Celestino had told Ken to do something to throw a seemingly simple retrieval mission off. 

“Divide and conquer,” Michele said, “It makes the most sense. It’ll take the least amount of time. Logistically speaking.” 

“I think you’re right.” Church agreed. 

The island wasn’t very big. Michele and Church stayed along the shoreline while the rest of them ventured towards the middle of island which was dominated by various foliage. Yuuri wondered if Celestino commissioned tropical animals. Two sessions back, he had surprised them with a polar bear, a fatal blow to their then perfect sanitization op. 

Yuuri figured that Guang-Hong was going to make this hard on them. Both himself and Michele ate an obscene amount of food. The bill would be large. 

“Guang-Hong! Come out and I’ll pay half!” Sara yelled into the plants, “Let’s just get this done with!” 

“Sara- I mean, Tre!” Kenjirou laughed. 

“Celestino was really looking to fuck us over with all these plants. What is that? That’s definitely not a bug that naturally occurs on islands. I remember seeing one in the Amazon last month.” Sara said. 

“Let’s focus on getting Guang-Hong to pay for our dinner.” Yuuri reminded them of their task at hand. Guang-Hong was most likely on the move. At least that’s what Yuuri would be doing himself if the threat of having to provide dinner for an exhausted trainee class was on the table. 

After an hour of picking at foliage, Yuuri’s subgroup grew tired. Communications with Michele and Church revealed nothing. Yuuri didn’t get it. Guang-Hong should be on the island, unless…

“The water! Guang-Hong can hold his breath the longest out of all of us, remember? He’s in the reef!” Yuuri yelled into the comms. 

“You don’t need to yell, Katsuki. Church and I are headed in. Over.” Michele grumbled. 

After fishing a red faced Guang-Hong out of the water, the group sat outside the Dome waiting for Celestino to arrive. 

“I’m ordering the entire menu. For myself. And you’re going to pay for it.” Church heaved, “I hate swimming and the ocean and sand. God, the sand. I have sand so far up my-”

“Celestino!” Yuuri exclaimed, cutting off whatever Church was about to say. 

“A sub-par op. But it was supposed to be fun. You’ve all been working hard, yes?” Celestino smiled, “Get changed and head to the range. I expect perfect targets.” 

Target practice was boring, as usual. Sara was the first one done. Yuuri struggled with his new revolver but managed to administer two kill shots after working at it. His tremor had come back with a vengeance. How convenient. 

“You’re doing a wonderful job, Katsuki. You’ve improved.” Guang-Hong commented as they went to fetch their targets during a ceasefire. Guang-Hong made an effort to keep the pity out of his voice. Yuuri made an indiscernible sound. Guang-Hong cocked his head to the side, “What’s on your mind?”

“The _obscene_ amount of prawn I’m ordering tonight.” Yuuri parried. He was always good at circumlocution. 

Guang-Hong groaned. 

::

“Yuuri!” Minako exclaimed. 

“Minako!” Yuuri embraced her, “I was just about to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like some?” 

“I’m fine. L just wanted me to tell you that you have a meeting with her at 2.” Minako raised an eyebrow, “And why would that be, Yuuri?” 

“Uh- That’s so soon! But that wasn’t on my schedule for today,” Yuuri rushed to his laptop. What the- “Kidding. Turns out everything else has been cancelled.” 

“Interesting.” Minako said, “Well you should try and get in a shower before then. You look tired and ugly.” 

“Arigatou gozaimasu, Minako. You always know how to brighten my day. I can never thank you enough for all that you do for me. You are light in my daily darkness.” Yuuri rambled sarcastically. 

Minako rolled her eyes, “Just go already. It’s almost 2.”

Yuuri rushed to the showers conveniently housed on the third floor. He expected to be alone. 

The universe has a weird way of screwing people over. Viktor Nikiforov under a spray of water. His skin glistening in a totally not human way. Yuuri’s throat made a choking sound. 

“Oh! Hello Yuuri!” Viktor’s hand stretched out towards him. What the hell? “Starting today, I will be your coach. Well, sort of. More like a mentor. Maybe even partners. Would you like that? Partners?” 

“Did Minako put you up to this?” Yuuri knit his eyebrows, “And are you wearing body oil? Nikiforov, what’s going on?” 

“Yuuri, remember that conversation we had at Q?” Yuuri shook his head. “Are you sure? You stared at my butt for an embarrassingly long period of time afterward.” 

Yuuri squawked, “N-no!” 

“Anyway, I want you as my protégé. L said you would be the best fit. You should head off to meet her now.” Viktor smiled breezily, “You’ll have to negotiate your terms.”

“I-!” Yuuri turned on his heel and stomped towards the higher offices. No way. No way in hell. Yuuri Katsuki was not a charity case. He could handle himself. 

He had been full of confidence until he had reached the stairwell that led to L’s office. 

“Yuuri. I can see you.” Minako’s voice sounded from the walls. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” Yuuri’s pace slowed until he was trudging up the stairs like an adolescent. Minako was at her desk, polishing her knife collection. “Minako you don’t have to intimidate me, for god’s sake. I’m not Yakov.” 

“You can go right in.” Minako checked her reflection in a gleaming kukri. 

“Jesus, why does everyone here act like we’re in a bad spy movie?” Yuuri said as he opened the door to L’s office. 

“Perhaps we are, Agent Katsuki.” L gestured for Yuuri to take a seat. Yuuri understood that L had to maintain a certain amount of mystery. But that was a weird way to start off the conversation, SVR director or not. He noticed how tightly she had wrung her hair in a bun. His scalp felt scandalized at how her face was visibly being pulled up with it. To each his own, Yuuri thought. 

“I came to discuss the situation with Agent Nikiforov.” Yuuri sat in the plush chair that was lying about being a plush chair. He had expected a warm embrace from the velvet, only to be met with something that felt like rocks. 

“Yes. He explicitly stated that you were the one he desired to take under his wing. Is there a problem?” L said as she prepared a tea service, “I’d think that a-how do I say this? An agent with a reputation such as yourself would jump at the chance. чайку-с?”

“Yes, please. Is that a new tea service?” Yuuri steered the conversation away from the elephant in the room. 

“You noticed,” the corners of L’s mouth turned up, “Antique Lomonosov. I’ve had this lying around the old summer retreat for years. It was begging to be used.” 

“It’s rather pretty.” Yuuri commented. 

“Enough of your silly subject change. You may voice your concerns about working with Nikiforov. But I will likely still approve this new assignment.” L pushed a cup of tea towards him. 

Nodding, Yuuri took a shaky sip. Two sugars, just how he liked it, “I just don’t think I’m well suited to be his student. I’ve been working towards promotion ever since I was sent back to Celestino. I’m getting there, my aim is improving and I’ve even begun training with more weapons than before. Personally, I think Kenjirou would be better suited for the job. He’s young and eager to learn. He needs that little push that will change him from being a good spy to a great spy.” Yuuri avoided eye contact as soon as he finished. 

“Interesting. And you believe that you don’t deserve this second chance?” L raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s more of a fourth chance,” Yuuri said hurriedly, “Not that I’m not grateful for it. I just- I want to do it myself. I know I can get better by myself.” 

“The tremors have disappeared then?” L said calmly. Yuuri’s knuckles turned white. 

“Not exactly.” 

“I am assigning you to Nikiforov for the next six months. You’ll be working on high clearance operation. I trust that by working together, you will succeed.” L said, “He will be waiting for you in the lobby. You’ll receive a briefing tomorrow morning.” 

Yuuri stood up and saluted stonily. He made his way towards the door. 

“Yuuri-” 

“Yes?” 

“You were a great spy.” Yuuri pursed his lips. L continued, “I trust that this time, you’ll learn how to be a good one.” Yuuri nodded.  
:: 

Viktor Nikiforov was waiting for him in the lobby. With vodka martinis. 

“Why?” Yuuri balked. 

“We’re celebrating! To our partnership!” Viktor clinked his glass against Yuuri’s. Yuuri stared after Viktor as the silver haired man moved to sit in a chaise. Viktor looked after him and laughed, nodding his head towards the chair located across from it. 

Dumbfounded, Yuuri almost walked into one of the marble pillars that held up the high and totally impractical ceilings that made up the front of Uncle as he walked towards Viktor. 

“Nikiforov. I apologize for being difficult earlier. I should have known that L put you up to it.” Yuuri looked down at his drink. 

“Oh Yuuri, you’re so funny. It was always my decision.” Nikiforov sipped his martini, “These really are better shaken.” 

“Why _me_? Why _now_?” Yuuri anger flared up. It was no secret that he was still recovering from Sochi. He was, pardon the pun, an easy target. Nikiforov would be lauded for helping to rehabilitate the old and broken trainee. The STAMMI would be practically guaranteed after six months of Yuuri playing the damsel. 

“You’re special, Yuuri.” Nikiforov said softly. 

“Special? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Look Viktor, I get it. Ok? I get it. STAMMI clearance. Wanting a promotion. I understand. But I won’t be toyed with like this.” Yuuri said. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Nikiforov said. Yuuri felt his eyes welling up. What fresh hell was this? Was he literally crying in the middle of the lobby, a vodka martini in hand, with Viktor Nikiforov? His hand was trembling around the martini glass. Nikiforov’s gaze shifted to them. Yuuri paled. 

“Fuck!” Yuuri yelled. Several people in the lobby stopped to look at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nikiforov began, “We can go on a walk.” 

“Yes,” Yuuri agreed, “Yes, let’s go on a walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a headcanon where the Crispinos' mom is a gender studies professor and I made it happen. Dreams come true. You heard it here first. I know Sara is a bit OC since in the show, she does defer to her brother but I figured that a bit of character development never hurt anybody.
> 
> Church and Onsen are pretty obvious.  
> Arme is taken from Michele's short program piece L'homme arme which translates to armed man.  
> Tre is Italian for three and is inspired by Sara's signature move the triple Lutz-triple Loop combination.  
> Lohen is a shortened version of Lohengrin, a piece that Yuuri previously skated to and Minami skated to this past season. 
> 
> Oymyakon is a village in Russia that is well known for being one of the coldest places on Earth. 
> 
> A kukri is a Nepalese knife used as both a weapon and a tool. 
> 
> Lomonosov is a porcelain company in Russia known for its tea services. At least that's what Wikipedia tells me. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated. Thank you so much for all your support!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

“I have to say, I’ve never met a trainee quite like you before,” Viktor said wistfully as they strolled on the sidewalk, “You’re different.” Yuuri snorted. Jesus, Nikiforov was flirting now. An interesting way to go about it but then again, he was the agency’s most accomplished raven.

With that body and that face, there was no way that L would pass up giving the silver-haired trainee a place on the VRNY task force. Phichit had even done a study about the correlation between office morale and the frequency at which Nikiforov wore his leather uniform. He was 95% confident that there was a direct relationship between the two variables. Yuuri had called it but Phichit was adamant on using hard data. No pun intended. 

Today, Nikiforov was wearing the VRNY leathers with a longer black coat, most likely to conceal gear. It skimmed his figure nicely, the only downside being that it hid Nikiforov’s butt from the world. 

“I’m sorry. I’m getting distracted. What did you say?” Yuuri blinked. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were fishing for compliments.” Nikiforov smirked. 

“As if I care about what Viktor Nikiforov thinks.” Yuuri said, kicking the sidewalk.

“Well if you ever end up caring, I was talking about how special you were.”

“I’m not special, Nikiforov,” Yuuri mumbled. 

“You are! Yuuri, I knew it the very minute I laid eyes on you!” he exclaimed. The tips of Nikiforov’s ear turned a light pink. How cute. Yuuri paled at his minute observations and pushed the thoughts to the back of his head. Jesus. He was in deep. 

“This isn’t a ballet at the Bolshoi. I’m not your Gisele.” he shook his head. 

“Is that the only thing of Russian culture you’ve retained all your years at the agency?” Nikiforov wondered aloud, “The Bolshoi? It’s as if you used SparkNotes to read up on my beautiful country. Have you even seen Gisele?” 

“Of course I have! I was on the fast route to becoming a ballet danseur before Minako poached me from the stage,” Yuuri laughed. 

“You? Ballet?” Nikiforov raised his eyebrows, “You really do learn something new every day.” 

“Look-” Yuuri held his hands up, “If there was a SparkNotes page for Russia, I would have already committed to memory.” Nikiforov laughed, slowing his pace to look at the sky. He was one of those, the wondrous type. Yuuri thought about how that could possibly translate well into spy work.

“Moscow is beautiful this time of year, is it not?” Nikiforov sighed. Yuuri’s brow furrowed. They were surrounded by skyscrapers that grew increasingly similar as they walked on. Nothing particularly special, in Yuuri’s mind.

“If you think this is beautiful, you should Hasetsu in the spring,” Yuuri blurted out. 

“Perhaps I should.”

“I’m sorry, by the way. I overreacted,” Yuuri blurted out. He could feel his face heat up. 

“It’s alright. I’d be lying if I said that I understand where you’re coming from. But all things considered, I think that we would be good partners,” Nikiforov said.

“About my tremor-” Yuuri started.

“No need to worry about that. Yakov and I will help you. I don’t know what L was thinking, placing you with the trainees. You were supposed to be initiated after Sochi, you know.” 

Yuuri knew that. Everybody knew that. For all of his shortcomings, Yuuri was good at what he does- what he did. He had reached 10 confirmed kills in his first three months as a senior agent. He was going to be the best marksman at the SVR. 

“It was supposed to be a retrieval. In and out. Nobody told me how important it was. Good thing, too. Back then, I’d get nervous and my aim would just- it wasn’t good. Celestino and I worked on it. The minute L told me what I was holding, something changed. Then…” Yuuri trails off, “You know what happened next.”

“You got shot.” 

“A good shot, too. No bone damage. Almost like they wanted me to suffer, knowing that I had blown the cover of about fifty agents,” Yuuri said, “The tremor sucks though. Pouring water from a pitcher is a real bitch.” 

“You were forgiven though. An imperial pardon? Even I haven’t gotten one of those,” Nikiforov tried to lighten the mood, to no avail. 

Yuuri figured that he had only gotten that pardon because there was the threat of him defecting to PSIA. He had been forced to finally agree to renouncing his Japanese citizenship. He’d already carried his dual citizenship for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

“They can’t exactly wipe my memory of all the intel I’ve ever received,” Yuuri huffed. 

“If you say so,” Nikiforov said, another smile playing on his lips. Of course. Of fucking course there would be some sort of mind control shit in the SVR basements. 

“You know, I’ve been working for the SVR since I was a teenager. And I still don’t think I know what I’m doing. What I’m really doing,” Yuuri wondered aloud.

“Oh, what it must be like to be L,” Nikiforov said. 

A vibrating sound interrupted their musings. 

“That must be yours,” Yuuri said, “I haven’t been authorized a burner phone today.” Nikiforov hastily fished an ancient looking flip phone out of his pocket. 

“Yurio, my darling!” Nikiforov answered, “It’s been so long since you last tracked me down. Yes, yes it’s a Nokia. Clever little thing. We should really consider substituting these phones for the Kevlar in our bulletproof vests.” 

Who the hell was Yurio? How was he on such good terms with Nikiforov? 

“Yes, I did see what you did in Jakarta. Your aim could use a bit more work, don’t you think? State of the art? Really? How did you get your hands on that much uranium?” Nikiforov continued. 

There had been a drone strike on an abandoned base in Jakarta just last week. Was Nikiforov a double agent? God, that was kind of hot, besides being super illegal. Yuuri swallowed. 

“Of course. Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. You’re getting there, Yurio. Maybe one day we’ll have a file on you. Yuri! Don’t use such words. You have to go?” Nikiforov frowned, “Alright, I’ll talk to you soon. Stay safe!” 

Yuuri must have looked particularly befuddled because Nikiforov quickly began to explain, “That was Yuri Plisetsky. A criminal, obviously. The SVR doesn’t recognize him yet. We talk every now and then. He’s quite good at getting ahold of me,” he beamed with pride, as if talking about his child, “Sometimes he’ll give me intel when he doesn’t like whoever my mark is. We’re sort of like pen pals except what we do is illegal.”

“Illegal pen pals,” Yuuri repeated. 

“I’m so glad you understand! Maybe you’ll be able to meet with Yurio soon. He’s a darling, really. You might have come across him actually. The Russian Punk?” Realization hit Yuuri. The Russian Punk was a miscreant who had wreaked havoc years ago. But the voice on the phone had sounded so young, almost prepubescent, “That’s his father. Deceased, Yakov took care of him.” 

“Spy talk for killed, yeah?” Yuuri said, “Taking care of someone. Remember when that meant making them soup and bringing them blankets?” 

Nikiforov just smiled. Yuuri smiled back. 

::

The next day, Yuuri was excused from training which had caused an uproar in the trainee division. He got three passive aggressive memos from Michele, an email detailing his favorite memories with Yuuri from Church, and a hefty fruit basket from Ken. 

“I’m not being sent to my death. It’ll take more than a fucking reassignment to do that,” Yuuri rasped into a voice recording, trying his best not to bother the agents around him, “Sara, Michele has been lying about attending those required team building sessions. And you should save those anecdotes for my actual funeral, Church. Also apples are wonderful this time of the year, thank you Kenjirou.” 

“Saying your goodbyes?” 

“Jesus- Viktor! You scared me!”

“You know you’re quite jumpy for a secret agent.” 

“It’s my best kept secret.” 

Yuuri followed Nikiforov out of his little cubicle. Nikiforov explained that L was not available for their briefing and that Yakov would be replacing her for the meantime. Yakov was an elusive caseworker who made an appearance upstairs once a month to report to L. Yuuri had always found him a little domineering but who in their right mind wouldn’t?

“Yakov likes Powerpoint presentations but L blocked him from using it because she’s petty,” Nikiforov said to Yuuri as they entered a makeshift meeting room with a long rectangular table at the center, “Don’t be alarmed if he starts to stab at the keyboard. Google Slides is a bitch.” 

“Are you done gossiping about me, Vitya?” Yakov droned from the head of the table. 

“There’s so much more, Yuuri. But I’ll have plenty of time to tell you later,” Nikiforov winked, taking a seat to the right of Yakov. Yuuri hurried to claim the seat next to him. 

“Good morning, Mr. Feltsman,” Yuuri bowed his head. 

“Head up, boy. How else are you going to see this beautiful face?” Yakov said. 

“Oh Yakov, you flatter me,” Nikiforov blushed. 

“Not you, idiot. The kid,” Yakov jutted his chin towards the screen ahead of them, “This is Agent Samarkand. Time of death was around two weeks ago, in an abandoned building in Prague. He was assigned to investigate a bomb threat. The target was inevitably changed to hit the same building he was using as a base. Quaint, isn’t it?” 

Yuuri had seen the agent around Uncle before. He was the only one who owned a motorcycle outside of the Q division. He also sported this sick undercut that would be often covered by different wigs and hats. Yuuri was sure that Agent Samarkand had made Phichit’s list of Agents with Ass-ets that he peddled to anybody who gave half of a shit. 

“Wasn’t he at the office christmas party?” Nikiforov piped up. 

“Are you referring to that mess of contradictions L puts on to parade her agents in front of the bureaucrats? I swear, that woman will do anything for publicity,” Yakov shook his head, “Anyway, L wants you to find out who killed him.” 

“Isn’t that a bit too predictable?” Nikiforov said, “I mean, that’s so cliché spy plot,” 

“Get over it, word around the underground is that you’re the one who did it,” Yakov rolled his eyes, “Make sure that changes before L approves you for the STAMMI. And you-”

“M-me? Yes. Hello. Sorry.”

“You will help him. He’s capable. The most I can do is stabilize your aim,” Yakov said. 

“Stabilize aim,” Yuuri repeated to himself before looking up to meet his eyes, “Absolutely, we’ll do it.” 

“Here’s the file,” Yakov slid a brown file folder over. 

“It’s so thin!” Nikiforov exclaimed. 

“You’re a spy, aren’t you?” Yakov said, “Make it work.” Nikiforov’s eyes shone with a mischievous glint. 

Yakov led them out to a small shooting range where Yuuri was made to hold a revolver in shooting position for the better part of an hour. It would be all good fun if he was actually allowed to shoot the damn thing. It helps with muscle memory, Nikiforov assured him. Muscle memory, his ass, all this was doing was giving him a nasty arm cramp. 

“Do I really have to do this?” Yuuri sighed after getting in his usual stance for what seemed like the hundredth time. 

“Almost done, Yuuri!” Nikiforov waved from behind the glass. 

“One more time,” Yakov barked. Yuuri complied, his muscles tensing as he held the gun up, “Better.” 

Yuuri glowed with pride. 

::

Agent Samarkand had been with the STAMMI for about a year which made him the most recently promoted member of the task force. He had been in the trainee class two years above Yuuri, his specialty being long undercover missions. Props to the guy because Yuuri, for all the training he’d been through, still had to work months on memorize practiced mannerisms and accent changes. 

Nikiforov noted how weird it was that Samarkand had been assigned to a mission that didn’t require any sort of disguise on his part. Yuuri agreed because Nikiforov wouldn’t let him get a more complex answer otherwise. 

Nikiforov had brought him to a small cafe that boasted a triple double shot monstrosity that Yuuri knew would keep him up all night. So naturally he had just smiled and nodded when Nikiforov recommended it. Anything to keep his slightly eccentric partner happy. 

“You have a nice smile,” Nikiforov said. Yuuri forced his coffee to go down his throat. 

“Thank you,” he nodded, giving himself an imaginary pat on the back for not experiencing cardiac arrest. 

“We should receive the clearance we need to access Samarkand’s electronics and apartment soon. I told them no rush since I have yet to get to know you,” Nikiforov said.

“I have a file, you know. Just ask Minako for it,” Yuuri pulled at his collar. Who’s brilliant idea was it to wear a tie to work today?

“Boring,” Nikiforov rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah it is. Nothing too exciting going on over here. Sorry,” Yuuri shrugged his shoulders. 

“We should try shooting at each other sometime,” Nikiforov said. 

“Ok now I’m really sorry. What the fuck, Nikiforov?” 

“We can talk about it later,” Nikiforov assured him. 

“The hell we are,” Yuuri mumbled into his drink. 

“Oh Yuuri. You’re so funny,” Nikiforov continued. 

::

“But what does it mean, Phichit?” 

“Uh, what it means? He hardly encodes what comes out of his mouth, does he?” Phichit said, “Actually, I could see him doing that.”

“You’re so funny…” Yuuri trails off, “Nikiforov is so much weirder in person, like constant contact with him is like talking to an old friend from high school who you haven’t seen in years who also knows exactly how you die,” 

“Marianas Trench,” Phichit said succinctly. 

“No fucking way,” Yuuri jumped back from Phichit. 

They had been lounging around Q division for what seemed like hours now. As a quartermaster, Phichit had access to loads of fun things Yuuri wouldn’t be allowed to touch. Like the sweet liquor cabinet Celestino liked to pretend wasn’t in the lower wing of headquarters. 

“You’re MT deep, bro,” Phichit whistled.

“I am not! It was never that serious,” 

“I mean, at first I was like totally with you on this because like we’re a little drunk and shit. But you haven’t touched your sangria which is a cardinal sin because I made that sangria and it’s fucking delicious,” Phichit rambled on, “So you’re MT for Nikiforov,” 

“I-”

“Think about it. You’ve had this crush on him since Sochi. Probably because of his obsession with winking over his shoulder. And now, L does the total opposite of a cockblock. Like a cockdock. It’s like a pull through parking spot. But like, for your dick,”

“Bro what the fuck is in this sangria,” 

“Shut up, you’ve done way worse. I’m at like Plato level inner peace right now, the flute thing and all,” 

“If, emphasis on the hypothetical nature of what I’m about to say, I was MT for Nikiforov, what the hell would I do?” Yuuri said hesitantly. 

“Easy,” Phichit laughed, “Complete the mission,”

‘And then?”

“Let the mission complete you,”

“That makes so little sense,” Yuuri shook his head, “Hey, we should clean up. You still have to wipe the video feed.” He turned to Phichit expectantly, only to find his friend passed out on the opposing chair. Awesome. Fantastic. Dope. Yuuri steeled himself to lift Phichit onto his shoulder, only stumbling a little bit as he took the first step.

“Hey Yuuri-” 

“Yes, Phichit?” 

“You’re going to fucking kill it man. I know you don’t think so. But I believe in you like so much,” Phichit mumbled before flinging his arms out, “Like this much,” 

“Thanks,” Yuuri smiled to himself. 

“Are you even looking?” Phichit cried out, his words slurring together. 

“Of course,” Yuuri said in reply. 

“Good,” Phichit breathed before starting to snore again. Yuuri felt a warm feeling bloom in his stomach. It went away soon after he realized that he’d have to carry Phichit down three flights of stairs. 

 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! I've been busy with work and school. 
> 
> VRNY stands for Virulent RecoN Youth (doesn't have the same snappiness that came with STAMMI but w/e)
> 
> Yeah this is basically a filler chapter sorry about that. Shit happens. 
> 
> the Marianas Trench is the deepest part of the world's oceans. So basically Yuuri is in deep with Viktor. Interpret that as you will. 
> 
> Also I just started writing fanfiction for another fandom which, not gonna lie, is going to divide my attention to this fic so I'll try my very best to keep this one updated but finals and AP tests are coming up so I won't have much time to write. I'd rather release good writing than hurried writing so apologies! 
> 
> Keep the comments and kudos coming! It's interesting to hear where you guys want to see this pic go, I might just change the plot to fit a certain scenario y'all want to see! (Yes the entire plot is planned out, bless up)


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